Today’s verse: 1 John 1: 8-9 If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Confession is good for the soul, so they say. But I am confessing today because I failed myself and I want to speak out to others to not give in and not give up. I confess that I gave in to one of my addictions this past weekend. I was sneaky and hid it from everyone, but the only one it hurt was me. I felt like I was in high school, hiding things from my parents as I indulged in smoking again.
I had been smoking for over 20 years when I met my husband. He asked me if I would quit smoking before we got married, so I did it – cold turkey! It was extremely hard, but I wanted to get healthy and kick the habit. It was wonderful to be smoke free. I no longer smelled like an ashtray. Food tasted better. I had more energy. I was healthier.
But I realized that the addiction never really goes away. Even now, after 25 years, I still get the urge to smoke. I don’t think it will ever leave me. I was home alone this past weekend and I bought a pack of cigarettes. I sat on my deck Friday night with a margarita and a cigarette and was blissfully happy. I continued to smoke all day Saturday.
When I went to bed Saturday night I heard the Lord saying to me – “Your body it is my temple – why do you want to hurt me by smoking?” I felt so terrible — then and there I got up and tore up the rest of the pack of cigarettes. I asked God to give me strength and to help me. I asked him to forgive me for my transgression.
Often the Lord speaks to us and we don’t listen. I could have passed it off as just my own thoughts, brought about by guilt. However, I have learned to listen for God’s voice in my ear – he does guide my life. He does not want us to ever give in to our addictions. He will call to us and guide us back to where we need to be. Don’t forget to listen for God’s voice.
I am now right with God and at peace. I know I am forgiven and that is the great news of Jesus Christ, our Savior and Lord. Thank you for hearing my confession and blessings to all of you. Continue reading “My Confession on WNTD (World No Tobacco Day)”