Loving or Enabling?

Today’s verse:  Galatians 6:  7-8 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked.  Whatever a man sows, he will reap in return.  The one who sows to please his flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; but the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.

I have mentioned before that I am surrounded by addicts in my family.   One of the greatest challenges for the family of an addict is to decide when to stop enabling.  For example, when a loved one overeats, do you continue to buy junk food and keep it in the house, or do you buy only healthy foods?  When a loved one gets a DUI, do you bail them out?   Or do you let them sit in jail and suffer the consequences of their actions?  When a loved one experiments with drugs, do you just let it go as a passing phase?

I wonder how many parents have helped out their kids out of love, when if fact they are just enabling them to continue on the wrong path.   How many alcoholics are enabled by their partners?  If addicts were stopped before they began, would they be addicts today?   It is easy to think, as a parent, that kids have to “live and learn”.  Or we don’t want to have disagreements with them.  Or we want to be the “cool” parent.  What we need to be is tough on them.   Otherwise they have no motivation to change their undesirable behavior and actions.

I once read somewhere a great thought.  When we intervene and don’t allow someone to suffer the consequences of their actions, we are limiting how God can work in that situation. Allowing another to suffer those consequences is, in effect, partnering with God.  It may be called “tough love”.  It may be very difficult.   But God knows what is best.  Perhaps he has a plan for this person.  Perhaps he will help in his own way. Perhaps someone needs to suffer in order to improve.  We cannot guess God’s plan for our life, but we can be sure that He loves us and will guide us in our journey, if we only have faith and ask Him for help.   Ask him today to guide your journey.

Healthy Living Menu (adapted from Prevention Magazine‘s 28 day challenge

Breakfast:   Lox and Bagel

Spread 1 oz. reduced fat cream cheese on 1/2 whole wheat bagel.  Top with 1 oz. smoked salmon, 2 slices tomato, and cucumber.  Whisk together 1 tsp. olive oil, 1 tsp chopped dill and 1/2 tsp red wine vinegar and drizzle on top.
12 oz. coffee

Lunch:  Turkey Salad Sandwich

Mix 3 oz. diced cooked turkey breast with 2 Tbsp. diced celery and t Tbsp reduced-fat mayonnaise.  Spread between 2 slices whole wheat toast topped with 2 leaves romaine lettuce and 4 slices tomato.
1 medium pear
12 oz. green or herbal tea or water

Dinner:  Eggplant Parmesan

Saute 4 slices peeled eggplant in 1 Tbsp olive oil until softened.  Layer in small baking dish wiht 1/2 cup marinara sauce and 2 oz. shredded mozzarella cheese.  Bake until bubbly and cheese melts
1 cup sliced strawberries
12 oz. herbal tea or water


1/2 cup vanilla ice milk
1 tsp. chocolate syrup
7 walnut halves

Optional Snack:

Stuff whole wheat pita with 1 oz. low fat turkey breast, 2 slices tomato, 1 leaf lettuce, and 1 tsp. Dijon mustard


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